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One word or two? Even the professionals disagree. Which brings me to my daily diversion. I’m taking a copyediting test on Monday, for a job I really, really, really, really, really, really, really want. Please help me. If you have any info on these tests — practice tests, articles to read, things to help me. Before Monday, send ‘em my way! Thanks in advance! Diana returns to studying lay/lie, who/whom, that/which, etc. The New Secret Project (NSP) is consuming my nights and days. I’m reading books, making charts, doing research, experimenting with plans, forming plot arcs. I fell asleep doing it last night, and woke up this monring because there were some ideas that I was itching to get down on paper before they flitted away. I know you guys think I’m a tease for not sharing the details of NSP, but, at least at first, when it hasn’t yet solidified, I’m afraid of what will happen. There’s a certain danger to the prospect. Right now, it’s as if I’ve just awakened from a dream — it’s there, on the edge of my consciousness, and can either coalesce itself into memory or disappear into the abyss. So I’ll stop talking about it, just so it won’t be stuck in your craw. ~Diana From a *very* intelligent posters on one my loops: “Our knowledge… should always be a tool that helps us, not a roadblock that we place in our own path.” Sing it, sister! And this, in a nutshell, is what I’m getting at when I say that there’s wiggle room. This isn’t putting together an appliance, where if you don’t follow the instructions precisely, you don’t get a working DVD player. It’s more like cooking by recipe — substitutions ARE allowed, and there’s more than one way too bake a birthday cake. If there’s a closed door, try a window — a contest, a conference, a very short, very politely worded query in which you clearly demonstrate why you are The One They’ve Been Looking For. The bottom line is that while editors and agents might limit their submissions avenues to keep out the rabble, they are DYING to be the first to discover The Next Big Thing. Let’s not be shrinking violets, people. There’s a substantive difference between polite business inquiries and nagging, and it’s a valuable one to learn. So this is what I dreamed last night: I won some sort of contract — a paranormal novella in an anthology with some pretty big names (yeah, I know, I don’t write para, blah blah blah). Everything was out of my hands from the moment I won the contract until the books arrived on my doorstep. I didn’t even have to do revisions (hey, I said it was a dream). So, imagine my dream-self’s surprise when the author copies arrive and I find that it’s someone else’s story with my name on it. Uh-oh. Someone screwed up in the contest, and contributed my entry with another person’s! Of course, I was about to leave on a trip to Paris (dream, remember?) and didn’t have time to tell my publisher (dream) that they got it wrong (dream dream dream). Things got kind of fuzzy after that. Ah, what to report. Rather worn out, actually. I suppose I was still too sick from the flu to actually go out this weekend. Other than that, not much to distract me, except for the ongoing Difficult Situation, and the exciting research for the Secret New Project. My research station looks like it’s been hit with a ticker tap parade, I’ve got so many post-it notes everywhere. Ugh. Flu season is hard upon us in this house. Sailor Boy had it on Thursday, I had it on Friday… nothing like time and productivity-sucking. Luckily, I got the manuscript out the door, but we’re still looking for an apartment. However, I believe I only have a few hours until I’m done with the revisions on manuscript two. And then, I will be under no obligation, and can start on my next project free and clear. YAY! That’s this week’s work. Since professional versus unprofessional behavior seems to be an enormous topic of interest lately, let me share with you something that has been bugging the heck out of me. (And no, this isn’t what you think, though I could go for hours on that one.) But first, I would like to note that I’m an enormous supporter of PRO. I’m the PRO liaison of one of my RWA chapters. I’m always talking up PRO to other RWA members. I’ve been on the PRO advocacy board, I”m an acitve member ont he PRO loops, I’ve attended the PRO bootcamps and retreats, I’ve helped guide members towards receiving their PRO pins. I love it, I think it’s a great idea. Go PRO! The fact that these incidents occurred on PRO-run loops does not, to my mind, say anything about PRO, merely about the habits of highly neurotic writers who are so frightened and intimidated by this business that they don’t know who or what to trust. There have been two times in as many days that I’ve seen discussions on the RWA PRO loops containing complaints about restrictive submissions processes, and they’ve always followed the same pattern: Writer posts that so and so is only accepting such and such. Other writers post that this information is inaccurate, either based on their own experience or on the editor’s actual words. Original writer (or bandwagon buddies) jump in to say no, that can’t be the case, it must be false, they got their information from some hallowed perosnal website!!!! Um, okay, you guys go ahead and fail to query that agent, or go through the whole query game with that publisher. No skin off my back. Sheesh! You try to help some people! I spend a lot of time researching the market, and I think it’s safe to say that I’m pretty well versed in what’s going on out there. You don’t want my advice? I’ll stop giving it. In one instance, I posted quotes from the RWA website that indicated the rumors about one agent’s submission requirements were false, and was told the website was “notoriously inaccurate” — though every agency I’ve tried based on info there was completely accurate, and the info was backed by both my experience and Cece’s. But of course, I was wrong about that, couldn’t be right, the paper I held in my hand from the agent was a filthy lie! The other time, inaccurate info was sent out through an RWA newsletter, and there was hubub, and when I posted alternate info, direct from the editor’s mouth (a link to her post regarding the policy on the PUBLISHER’S WEBSITE) I was also told that I was wrong, that this must have been a personal invite from THAT EDITOR to the small number of people who visit the thread. Excuse me? Small number? It’s an itnernet site. Anyone who wants to go there can. And, judging from some of the postings I’ve seen on that site of late, anyone will. I was also told that there are NO EDITORS from that publishing company who think it’s message boards are a hangout for rank amateurs and an utter time waster. Yeah, some of them like it, but I can assure you that I have heard personally from several who do not approve. I’m not pulling this stuff out of thin air, people. When it’s my understanding that a particular house or agency wants their submissions in a particular fashion, it’s because I have valid, tangible reason (that I will happily quote, link to and otherwise provide) to think so. I’m a total stickler for the rules. I have never once sent anything more in a submission package than an editor or agent has instructed me to send. I have never sent a query to an editor or agent if their guidelines state that they don’t accept them. I’ve never even retitled a rejected manuscript and popped it back in the mail — yet. I’m a total play-by-the-rules kind of girl (don’t kill me, Suzanne). But fine, listen to the rumors. Argue that any evidence that controverts it is anecdotal and irrelevant. Play around with your queries. Don’t submit to the agent until you’ve won the Golden Heart. It’s your career. This is not professional behavior, people. Listening to rumors and hearsay and not taking the time to research it yourself, clinging to the opinion or report of ONE source becuase you are so freakin’ scared of screwing up — this is not the behavior of grown women int eh business world. Professional behavior woudl be to search out the root of these rumors. Publishers and agencies have websites, submissions guidelines, notations in big books on markets. Read them. I guarantee you that there is a copy of Writer’s Market at your local library. And, repeat after me: Google Is My Friend. It takes twenty seconds to type “agent’s name” submission guidelines. You want to be writers? Learn how to use sources. Eh… what the heck. The writing isn’t coming along today. Stolen from Jaye 1. What time did you get up this morning? 9:15. Man, I need a job. No time to blog today, Spent too long commenting on Larissa’s time travel post on her blog. However, I will leave you with one of my favorite “time travel” sites: Temporal Anomalies in Popular Time Travel Movies Man, I could talk about this stuff all day. And, I’d like to add that Connecticut Fashionista gets one of those Twain-inspired dispensations. Diana’s Big Middle Finger Watermelon Martini Recipe INGREDIENTS: Shake ingredients with ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a sprig of mint, and serve. In dire circumstances, add more vodka.
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meanwhile, I’m studying hard core for the Big Test on Monday. I’m going to kick ass, I’m determined.