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Okay, first the funny, and then the not-so-much.
Fed Ex routes everything through Memphis. Everything. Even if you, say, send it from Washington D.C. to Manhattan. So if you are a debut author sending her first book via Fed Ex to Manhattan, you’d better make sure that a hurricane hasn’t shut Memphis down.
Otherwise, try the post office. “Acts of God” indeed!
Okay, now for the serious. I am a veteran of many a hurricane, as well as a former employee in teh field of hurricane relief, and I have never seen destruction like this. Want to help?
Information, direct from FEMA, on how you can help:
http://www.fema.gov/rrr/help2.shtm
A few sites for people interested in volunteering aid to those affected by Katrina:
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/9115520/
The MSN frontpiece with a lot of helpful links.
http://www.la-spca.org/
The Louisiana SPCA
http://www.nvoad.org/
National Voluntary Organization Active in Disaster
http://www.redcross.org/article/0,1072,0_312_4498,00.html
The Red Cross
Also, regular blog reader Larissa Ione lost her home in this storm. Information on how to help Larissa can be found here
Praying for all of them.
P.S. Confidential to Sailor Boy (ha ha!): HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
Hear that, bloglings? That is the sound of the angel FedEx, bearing my manuscript on its gossamer wings, to teh mythical isle of Manhattan.
FedEx is very strong. It must be. The manuscript is… long. Like, 5k longer than planned. I’m told this is okay.
I am *so* tired.
Like most in my profession, I spend a good deal of time poring over the deals listed at Publisher’s Marketplace (hereinafter referred to as PM). I often wonder if other industries have such coolio announcements whenever anyone gets a job.
Jason Delaw, Esq., graduate of Duke University and Harvard Law, recently hired to do litigation at Smith & Bowerson, for 250,000/year plus a kickass 401k.
You get to find out who is hiring, and why, and who the headhunter is, and how much they get paid… Of course, if my hypothetical Lawyer’s Lunch is anything like PM, it would be more like:
Jason Delaw, Esq., graduate of Duke University and Harvard Law, recently hired to do litigation at Smith & Bowerson, for somewhere in the neighborhood of 10,000-1,000,000/year plus a kickass 401k.
Is it me, or are the “code terms” used at PM just a tad… unhelpful?
Glossary: “nice deal” $1 – $49,000; “very nice deal” $50,000 – $99,000; “good deal” $100,000 – $250,000; “significant deal” $251,000 – $499,000; “major deal” $500,000 and up
I admit I was very thankful when they split “nice deal” (originally 1-100k) into two parts, but even that doesn’t quite get the job done, especially for debut authors and midlisters to whom a raise from 15k per book to 25k per book is a cause for celebration.
Then of course, there’s Brenda Hiatt’s Show Me the Money, which gets points for phenomenal effort. However, the statistics, outside the realm of category romance, are scant and many are out of date. For instance, Berkley hasn’t had “line” books in several years. Besides, a huge sale reported or a lack of reports skews the stats tremendously. Still it’s better than nothing, and can make a huge difference to unsold authors who are looking at the “nice deals” on PM and imagining their $99,999 check, before selling and getting 3k (or worse!) And of course, outside the Harlequin category lines, any kind of report is going to be a little misleading, since ever single title house has its midlist debuts and its lead authors, and what one house might pay 10 or 15,000 for, another house will shell out six figures.
The RWR has a column called “Sold!” in which more specific monetary values and details about a sale are reported without attaching the writer’s name. Unfortunately, if there’s the slightest bit of buzz about the deal at all, or the reader spent any time with Enclyclopedia Brown or Sherlock Holmes in her youth, she can usually discern the identity of the writer without too much difficulty.
Sometimes I think we should adopt the method promoted (only half in jest, it seems) by John Scalzi. (In fact, as I remember it, most of my friends did think of it as a “Next drink’s on Diana” deal). However, it must be nice for an author to be able to report her sale without having to hang up her bank statement. Especially if the monetary circumstances are less than ideal, one might not want to have a deal listed as a “You want fries with that?” deal. Somehow takes away from the other facts in your deal listing, such as “I wrote a book and sold it!” and “here’s the super cool premise!” The book may wind up being a sleeper hit, and anyone who overlooked it because of the paucity of dollar signs in the initial deal report would have a fun time swallowing their fedora.
Many of the sales reported to PM don’t even have the monetary codes attached, which of course, makes the nosy bitch lurking beneath my parent’s lessons of “It’s rude to ask someone about their income” wildly curious. (Though the why of it eludes me, because, even if listed, it would only put the truth within a six figure ballpark.) However, the point of PM is not to survey the economics of the matter, but to serve as a means for tracking who is buying, who is selling, what is selling, and where the trends are headed, and to advertise the lot to anyone who might be watching (Hello, Hollywood!). I recommend aspiring authors join just so they get an idea of what books which agents are selling and to whom. Take a look at the rise in YA fiction deals reported in the last six months alone. Anyone see a trend? Want to know if a particular agent is selling and what? Before you ask around for anecdotes on email loops, check out PM and see the sales (and names of clients!) Of course not all agents report sales in PM, but many do. Want to know who is buying your subgenre? Do a search at PM. Want to know who represents your favorite writer? PM PM PM
Want to know what people are making?
That’s a tougher nut to crack. And, in the end, the only truth is that there is no straight answer and nobody knows anything. Just as your book about Topic A might sell and her book about Topic A might not, just as yours might go to a small pub for tuppence and hers might spark a bidding war, just as hers might be considered YA and yours might go mainstream, just as yours might become a bestseller and hers flail along on the midlist… repeat after me: nobody knows nothing.
That this time isn’t a practical joke.
My friend Gena Showalter just sold a YA novel entitled GOTH GIRL to Lauren McKenna at MTV books. I heard that she was inspired in part by my book and that because of my muse-erificness, she owes me a drink.
I’m announcing this on the internet so that she can’t take it back. Gotcha, Novelique.
In other news, my agent Deidre Knight just sold a two book deal for Ellora’s Cave author Jaci Burton to my own dear publisher, Bantam Dell. I’m so excited for her! This is going to bring her work to a much larger audience! Jaci’s editor at Bantam will be Shauna Summers, the senior editor of the romance program, whom you might remember from my Reno recap.
Speaking of Bantam Dell editors, I hope no one has forgotten that my editor, the brilliantly acerbic genius Kerri Buckley, will be doing a TKA chat this Sunday. Seriously, be there. Hoo boy, does that girl have stories! If you’re very good, she might even tell you about the maggot.
And of course, much to be related about my book. Which will, natch, by then be done and sitting in a neat, printed out pile, bound by the ultra-secret, never-to-be-revealed-by-a-contracted-author arrangement of binderclips and rubber bands, and bearing only the this-is-the-secret-to-publishing perfect margins and font faces.
I’d tell you what those are, but then I’d have to kill you.
Finally, I shall share with you a little bit of humiliation that happened to me yesterday. So I blogged about Scott Westerfeld’s new book, PEEPS (buy Peeps! Buy Uglies! Buy them both and then pre-order Pretties, because I promise you’ll be foaming for it) and then who should show up at my blog to read all about my ::cough cough: platonic crush but…
Well, Sailor Boy, of course, who proceeded to inform me that I have no access to his award winning essay (seriously, though, who does he think he’s dealing with here? I’m no amateur. Vee haf vays…). Fortunately, Sailor Boy thinks my platonic professional crushes are kind of cute. I think his are cute, too, especially when they are on Krzysztof Kieslowski, rather than Sarah Vowell, who is, after all, a) alive, b) female, and c) single (I think), all of which makes for a greater risk of her moving up from platonic profesisonal crush to real life crush than dead Polish male directors.
But I digress. My point was that, to my surprise, Scott Westerfeld also visited Diana’s Digressions. Wow, so this blog is actually, like, visible? To um, people? Everyone wave at Scott. Hi, Scott! Okay, now everyone go buy his book. Bye, Scott!
(Confidential to Julie Leto (ha ha!): how about a blog update? You’ve got time to do quizzes…)
What’s really bad is how many of these I knew the answer to because of my The West Wing obsession. And they say TV makes you dumb.
| You Passed the US Citizenship Test |
Congratulations – you got 9 out of 10 correct! |
Scott Westerfeld’s new book is out today.
And, um, he has a blog.
I think I have found my new platonic crush-object.
Scott, as some of you may know, is the author of the fabulous UGLIES, trilogy, the second of which, PRETTIES, is available November 1. I’ve already pre-ordered it. I may have ot go to Borders this afternoon and buy PEEPS, even though I’m not supposed to read anything until after Aug. 31.
Scott is married to another writer of fantasy and science fiction, and they live in Sydney and New York. I once lived in Sydney and I once lived in New York. See how much we have in common? Well, except for the fantasy-writing partner.
I often wonder if Sailor Boy will take up writing. He’s actually an incredible, award-winning writer, but right now he is confining his substantial talents to helping me cut the clunkers out of my novel and providing pithy commentary at regular intervals. Shouldn’t he guest blog? He should totally guest blog. I think he’d be an awesome guest blogger.
And if he doesn’t capitulate, I can threaten to post his award-winning essays.
Oh, wow! I know, I know, I’m not supposed to tell anyone until we get closer to the day the issue will be on the stands, but I just can’t keep it in any longer.
Debut Magazine is doing a whole issue about my book! They’re timing the release to coincide with the launch of (Secret) Society Girl, on June 27, 2006, and even setting a special price for the issue. You can see the cover at right.
This is such a dream come true. I mean DEBUT MAGAZINE! I grew up reading it every month. And of course, the legend, far-seeing editor-in-chief Hepzibah Hottentot and her ability to really sniff out the big stories. When Ms. Hottentot first called me, I thought it was a friend playing a practical joke.
The magazine actually flew me to the exotic Island of Caprice (which, as everyone knows, is in the South Pacific) in order to do the photo shoot for my profile. I’ve always wanted to go to Caprice, and what better way to escape this muggy Washington August? I’m blogging here, from the private suite they arranged for me. My room overlooks the most darling little swaying palm trees and acres of lilies and birds-of-paradise.
The other day, I got to have lunch with Ms. Hottentot at her bungalow, and two of celebrity friends, who I needn’t even name here, so well is Ms. Hottentot’s entourage known. Well, I must say that he was every bit the gentleman. Even offered to rub suntan lotion into my shoulders for me. Wasn’t that sweet? And, he’s even cuter in real life than he ever was on screen. After lunch she and I had a pedicure together. You’ll be able to see some of the snapshots in Debut when it comes out. I really don’t believe those rumors about her, do you? She certainly didn’t seem like it to me.
Besides my celebrity-studded profile, Debut Magazine will also feature an excerpt of my book, as well as a whole series of exclusive, “Behind the Book” features. It’s going to be the best issue ever! I’m so excited!
* Disclaimer: Um, no. Perhaps Diana has been spending too much time sniffing toner as she prints out her masterwork? To get your own cover, here.
Yeah, folks, you heard that right. I am currently concocting the final scene for my first-ever contracted novel.
Pray it’s faboo.
In other news, my fabulous (and smokin’!) editor, Kerri Buckley, will be a guest at The Knight Agency chat on August 28th at 9 p.m. ET. If I’m there, it will mean that my book is done and winging it’s way to Kerri’s office. If I’m not, it’s because I’m clawing through a final round of edits before Fed-Exing this puppy to her.
See you there!
Means “International Standard Book Number.” It is the official way that bookstores order books and make sure they are getting hte right book and the right edition (and not, say, the dozen other versions of Pride and Prejudice rather than the Penguin one). When you order using the ISBN, you get that book, and that book only.
Which leads me to my next point. I have an ISBN of my very own. My first. It’s bouncing, bubbly, truly fantastic. I’ll have to do the numerology of it later.  Here it is:
0-385-34002-8
Isn’t that pretty? I think it might be the nicest one I’ve ever seen.
Lo, little ISBN. How goes it? Aren’t you the cutest little thing! What a puddum!
So, if you happen to be in a bookstore 309 days from now (309!) — or heck, let’s say 300, because there’s pre-ordering — and you want my book, order it by number.
It’s got one.
So in bloghopping the other day, I noted that Cranky Reader was listing which of the AFI Top 100 Films she’d seen. I decided to do the same. Seen 56 of these. A former film major I work with has seen 95, and my cubicle mate, who lives with a film professor, has seen 99 of them. the only she skipped happens to be one of my favorites, The African Queen. (I htink she’s watching it this weekend). Sailor BOy guessed he’d seen 80 of them, but when we looked at the list it was closer to 60. There are a few more I would have seen by this week, if I weren’t on deadline.
1. CITIZEN KANE (1941) — I fall asleep every time I try to watch this one. I never make it past the death scene. I swear.
2. CASABLANCA (1942) — One of my favorite movies of all time. Top five. Could watch this seventeen times in a row and marvel at its amazingness every single time. Not a misstep, not a bad frame. Everything is perfection.
3. THE GODFATHER (1972)
4. GONE WITH THE WIND (1939) — I like this film a lot. I don’t think I worship it as some do, but I’ll watch it if it’s on TV. (Casablanca, I’ll cancel other plans for.)
5. LAWRENCE OF ARABIA (1962) I should have seen this this week, because Sailor Boy has it out on Netflix. But instead I’m on deadline.
6. THE WIZARD OF OZ (1939)
7. THE GRADUATE (1967)
8. ON THE WATERFRONT (1954)
9. SCHINDLER’S LIST (1993) — No, and I refuse to watch it, too.
10. SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN (1952)
11. IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946)
12. SUNSET BOULEVARD (1950) — I only saw this recently, despite having owned the Glenn Close soundtrack of the musical version for ten years.
13. THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI (1957)
14. SOME LIKE IT HOT (1959) — Are men in drag really that funny? I mean, really? I don’t get the massive appeal of this film.
15. STAR WARS (1977) — I really need to see this again. Have been wanting to ever since watching the last.
16. ALL ABOUT EVE (1950)
17. THE AFRICAN QUEEN (1951) — Another one of my top five movies of all time. This is my ideal romance: man and woman work together to save world (or part of it) and fall in love and learn about their own strength. Great film.
18. PSYCHO (1960) — Hint: If there’s a Hitchcock on this list, I’ve seen it. Whenever I see it, I’m always curious about what it was like when it first came out, and people didn’t know the ending. Was it its generation’s The Sixth Sense?
19. CHINATOWN (1974) — Another movie I feel I *should* have seen, but haven’t.
20. ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST (1975) — Fell asleep in this one, too.
21. THE GRAPES OF WRATH (1940) — I hated the book with the heat of a thousand fiery stars. Why would I ever subject myself to its film version?
22. 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY (1968) — Yeah, I saw it. Wish I’d been stoned at the time. The section with the computer is undeniably awesome, but I wonder if I would have liked it so much had I not been practically comatose with boredom for the hours surrounding it?
23. THE MALTESE FALCON (1941) — No, and I really feel as if I should have. Love me some Bogart. (Can’t you tell?)
24. RAGING BULL (1980)
25. E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL (1982) — Confession: I had the biggest crush on Elliot. I still do, actually, in that I think I’d fall madly in love with the man he grew up to be. Elliot, honey, call me!
26. DR. STRANGELOVE (1964) Saw this at the AFI recently. I think it’s my favorite film of Kubrick’s.
27. BONNIE AND CLYDE (1967)
28. APOCALYPSE NOW (1979)
29. MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON (1939) — Have it on Netflix Queue.
30. THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE (1948) — Sadly, fell asleep during this one. But that was because it was *really* late.
31. ANNIE HALL (1977) — Another comedy that goes right over my head.
32. THE GODFATHER PART II (1974)
33. HIGH NOON (1952) — I want to see this one.
34. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD (1962) — Cf. situation with Lawrence of Arabia. I think I probably saw this in middle school when we read the book, though, but it’s been an enormous amount of time now.
35. IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT (1934)
36. MIDNIGHT COWBOY (1969)
37. THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES (1946)
38. DOUBLE INDEMNITY (1944)
39. DOCTOR ZHIVAGO (1965)
40. NORTH BY NORTHWEST (1959)
41. WEST SIDE STORY (1961)
42. REAR WINDOW (1954)
43. KING KONG (1933) — And I can’t wait for the Jackson version.
44. THE BIRTH OF A NATION (1915)
45. A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE (1951)
46. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE (1971)
47. TAXI DRIVER (1976)
48. JAWS (1975) — And it scared me to death. Love the scar scene though. Best scene ever.
49. SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS (1937)
50. BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID (1969) — Why haven’t I seen this? I love The Sting. I love The Princess Bride. Off to put this on Netflix Queue.
51. THE PHILADELPHIA STORY (1940) — Love it. Adore it. Worship it. Three of my favorite actors in one movie. A little Bogart and I’d be in heaven.
52. FROM HERE TO ETERNITY (1953) — On Netflix Queue
53. AMADEUS (1984) — No, but I have no idea why. Perhaps Sailor Boy can enlighten me?
54. ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT (1930)
55. THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965)
56. M*A*S*H (1970) — Is it sacrilege to say I like the show more?
57. THE THIRD MAN (1949)
58. FANTASIA (1940)
59. REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE (1955)
60. RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981) — Love love LOVE this movie. Harrison Ford is perfect and Karen Allen rocks my world. Everything that a movie should be.
61. VERTIGO (1958) Jimmy can be so dark when he wants to be. Second favorite hithcock film, after Notorious.
62. TOOTSIE (1982) — Cf. Some Like It Hot, although moreso. I think I like SLIH more, in that though not uproariously funny, it was entertaining and had a good script. This movie is boring.
63. STAGECOACH (1939)
64. CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND (1977)
65. THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991) — I don’t like to watch horror, so I’ll probably never see this, though I hear it’s incredible.
66. NETWORK (1976)
67. THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (1962)
68. AN AMERICAN IN PARIS (1951) — Eh. Boooooring.
69. SHANE (1953) — I read the book. This is one Sailor Boy got on Netflix and I never watched.
70. THE FRENCH CONNECTION (1971)
71. FORREST GUMP (1994) — Is there anyone who hasn’t? I remember thinking it was good when I was a kid and it came out, but I tried watching it a few years ago and felt SO manipulated by it. Also, the book? Nothing like it at all.
72. BEN-HUR (1959)
73. WUTHERING HEIGHTS (1939)
74. THE GOLD RUSH (1925)
75. DANCES WITH WOLVES (1990) — Isn’t this like, five hours long?
76. CITY LIGHTS (1931)
77. AMERICAN GRAFFITI (1973) Another one I just saw at the AFI. (I love living a block away from that place.) Great film. Lucas was quite the talent, once upon a titme.
78. ROCKY (1976) — I heard Stallone wrote this script in like, three days. It’s a great movie. I didn’t think I’d say that about a sports film, but I loved it.
79. THE DEER HUNTER (1978)
80. THE WILD BUNCH (1969)
81. MODERN TIMES (1936)
82. GIANT (1956)
83. PLATOON (1986)
84. FARGO (1996)
85. DUCK SOUP (1933)
86. MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY (1935)
87. FRANKENSTEIN (1931)
88. EASY RIDER (1969) — Another great film I didn’t realize I’d like as much as I did.
89. PATTON (1970) — NO but it’s on so much at my house I’m surprised I haven’t absorbed it by osmosis. Not a big military film person, but my parents are obsessed with them.
90. THE JAZZ SINGER (1927)
91. MY FAIR LADY (1964) — Gotta say, I prefer The Ghost and Mrs. Muir.
92. A PLACE IN THE SUN (1951)
93. THE APARTMENT (1960) Really? Some undeserved Jack Lemmon awards going on here. This film is okay, but top 100? Who are they kidding!
94. GOODFELLAS (1990)
95. PULP FICTION (1994) This film is a masterpiece. Quentin Tarantino totally deserves his career. Single-handedly brought Travolta back from the dead (though the jury’s still out about whether or not that’s a good thing) and is just hte coolest, slickest little slice of cinema ever.
96. THE SEARCHERS (1956)
97. BRINGING UP BABY (1938)
98. UNFORGIVEN (1992) I don’t watch a lot of westerns, but this one really stuck with me.
99. GUESS WHO’S COMING TO DINNER (1967)
100. YANKEE DOODLE DANDY (1942) I adore this film. Noir gangster Cagney sings! And tap dances! Who knew?
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