Maggie Stiefvater, who once made waves online with her “I just don’t get romance” post and then a year later sold a big fat werewolf romance to Scholastic (releasing this fall!) has put up a very thought-provoking post furthering her thoughts on love and romance. I think it’s safe to say that Maggie’s opinions on the matter have shifted somewhat in the past year and a half. However, I don’t agree with her current thesis that large gestures don’t work, and only by writing around romance do you get romance. (Updated to add: Maggie has amended herself to “earned” big gestures, which I agree with absolutely — see below.)
For instance, the scene in The Village that she points out as an example of a “small gesture” of love is, in reality, anything but. Here we’ve got Joaquin Phoenix’s character, as stoic and silent as ever a character was, finally breaking through after half a movie’s worth of teasing and being told he’s in love for the “things he refuses to do” and revealing a concrete example of his love — GRABBING her hand, not “refusing to catch her” which she claims he’s done for years. Then he admits in a moving, impassioned, grand speech a few scenes later:
“Why can you not stop saying what is in yours? Why must you lead, when I want to lead? If I want to dance, I
will ask you to dance. If I want to speak, I will open my mouth and speak. Everyone is forever plaguing me to speak
further. Why? What… good is it to tell you you are in my every thought from the time I wake? What good can come
from my saying I– I sometimes cannot think clearly, or- or do my work properly? What gain can rise from my telling
you… the only time I feel fear as others do, is when I think of you in harm? That is why I am on this porch, Ivy
Walker. I fear for your safety above all others. And yes… I will dance with you on our wedding night.”
These things work in tandem with each other. We believe the impassioned speech and we thrill at the big hand grab because of the small gestures that lay the groundwork. And those small gestures all build up to what romance fans like to call “the gut punch moment”: the declaration, the realization, the proposal or the reconciliation, or the love scene, the kiss on the dock in the rain or the “you pierce my soul” letter or “I know” before being lowered into carbonite or any of the thousands of grand gestures that leave the audience breathless and elevated in every romance ever told. You need ‘em both. You need ‘em all.
Shanna Swendson actually has an excellent seriesof posts on this, in which I think she gets to the heart of why “you complete me” doesn’t really work (for Maggie and me, at least). It’s not that it’s the “big gesture” — it’s that it’s the big gesture without the small one. Tom is a shit to Renee, who loves him because, I don’t know, he’s got some kind of idealistic outlook on life that attracts her? His last-minute realization that she actually is worthy of his affection, and not just her kid, is false and hollow, because no “small gestures” accompany it. In fact, the “you complete me” shot is even cropped so that you can’t see Tom is doing the sign language for it as well, which would be a sign that he at least PAID ATTENTION to something Renee showed him once upon a time. Shanna’s point is all about romantic comedy filmmakers focusing on these big gestures without the small ones, or thinking that if you line up the right order of events and a big misunderstanding, you’ll wind up with a romance.
Maggie’s other point is an interesting one, about how the reader is dying for two characters to make a romance happen, and that is, I think, why filmmakers can get away with crap like 27 Dresses and, to an even greater extent, Prince Caspian. Hey, look, we have two attractive people who are not related to one another in this film. Let’s put ‘em together! People will buy it. We don’t have to work on that.
Ugh.
I am always surprised by the attempts made to ’ship my characters. After Secret Society Girl, people were all after a romance between Malcolm and Poe. Lately, I’ve been hearing rumblings about one between George and Jenny, which, I’m sorry, is about as likely to happen as Malcolm and Poe. But the point is that people like it when characters fall in love. But that doesn’t mean that storytellers should just go ahead and toss any old random people together, Because then you end up with, well:
WRONG! Ewwwwwwww…..
Now, this can get a little sticky, because I’m also a huge believer in following chemistry, which is, of course, indefinable. Some people may see massive chemistry between two characters where others don’t. I don’t know how much chemistry the actors in Prince Caspian might have had to whoever made that stupid, stupid decision, but there certainly wasn’t enough to overcome the canon of “eww” that accompanied their romance. I never found there to be any chemistry between the leads in the short-lived TV series Moonlight, which probably accounts a lot for why I found the show lacking. But other people completely loved that romance. On the other hand, I applaud show runners like Rob Thomas for following the chemistry of Logan and Veronica to its natural and delicious conclusion on Veronica Mars. I really don’t think they imagined a romance between those two, but when it became clear that she and Duncan were flat as pancakes on screen, while she and Logan crackled like summer lightning — well, where do you go?
And different types of romance are necessary for different characters. For instance, Maggie derides “common interest” as a reason for romance, and yet, in some cases, it’s why we are rooting for two characters, particularly in stories where you meet each character on their own long, long before they ever encounter the other. I still remember my first reading of Lord of the Rings. When I got to the part where Eowyn (bless her shield-maiden soul) kicks the Witch King’s enrobed hiney and falls into a magical coma, I remember exclaiming, “No! She can’t die. She must live and marry Faramir!” Sailor Boy, reading in the next sleeping bag over (we were in a tent in Australia at the time) was all, “Wait, she doesn’t even know Faramir and is in love with Aragorn.” But you can’t fool this romance reader. Eowyn is awesome and all, but Aragorn is a demigod. It was never going to work out. Meanwhile, Faramir is equally awesome, equally noble, equally mortal, and equally in need of someone to try a little tenderness. They needed to live happily ever after and root the orcs out of Ithilien. You knew that they would be perfect for one another when they finally met and a big part of that was their common interest. they were twin souls, serving twin purposes in their respective cities (the young, intelligent, brave noblemen who pushed the leaders of their city to betterness). They belonged together.
So before I wrote SSG, I wrote four romance novels, none of which were published, and one of which received a rejection letter praising my characterization and writing, but regretting the lack of , well, romance. Ah well, I was still learning the ropes. And perhaps the editor in question didn’t find my romantic gestures (grand or otherwise) as romantic as I do. For instance, I find it profoundly romantic that Poe saved the mouse because Amy said she liked it. I like even more that she doesn’t find out about that for months and months. Now, not a lot of people think of mice as romantic, so…
Right. My point was…something. It was that I wasn’t such a huge success at writing romance novels, but I wrote novels that were not shelved as romance novels and received heaps of reviews praising what RWA likes to call the “romantic elements” of my books.
The last three books I’ve written have been more blatantly romantic than the first two. In Rites of Spring (Break), Amy’s love life goes front and center in the plot line, and I remember half-joking with my romance writer friends that the structure of the story maps to a romantic suspense. Rampant, killer unicorns aside, is a love story. And those of you who have read the first chapter of Tap & Gown in the back of ROSB know that the question of Amy’s spring break romance looms large. But those were vastly different projects, in both conception and execution. In SSG, I had a very different denouement to the love story in mind, but those two crazy kids were like magnets. So I just went with what felt natural — though actually, ridiculous chemistry aside, it took a whole book to make it work in any rational manner (and their trials aren’t over, because these two have a HUGELY rough row to hoe if they really want to date). In Rampant, I had always intended on a love story to get in the way of Astrid’s duty, but I had to “cast” her love interest several times before I had the right kind of chemistry. The first time, he wasn’t interested in her. The second time, she wasn’t interested in him. But then I landed upon Giovanni, and they clicked, and it was gorgeous. It was also really interesting to write, because Giovanni is a markedly different kind of hero than any I’ve written before, and way, way different than Jamie. Oh, Giovanni. I’m a little bit in love with him.
Yes, I just finished writing a big scene between Astrid and Giovanni for KU2. Why do you ask?
Unfortunately, I can’t really talk about their “small gestures” vs. “big gestures” or “common interests” though their romance is the one on my writerly mind, because no one has read that book yet and I am spoiler-averse and it’ll be months and months (and months and months and argggggggh… don’t mind the crazy author in the corner). But I can talk about Rites of Spring (Break) — look away if you have not read the book yet. Look perhaps, to this page, and order yourself a copy (my shameless plug of the day) — and mouse over white text to read ROSB spoilers:
In ROSB, we’ve got this slow-burn romance going on for the first half of the book, but I keep it on the DL, even from the narrator. She has no idea what I’m doing to her. In fact, she’s under the mistaken impression that I’m getting her together with some other guy. Poor girl. Meanwhile, Poe keeps popping up, starting in the first chapter, and showing that the events of Under the Rose have permanently changed their relationship, and that a lot of their antagonism is more based on the fact that they are used to it, rather than actual negative feelings or even disagreements. In fact, they are pretty much on the same page — they have the same sense of duty about the society, the same concerns and insecurities about their future, etc. Who knew? (Ahem. me.) The events are a prelude, meant to disarm and discomfit her around him. Long looks, tete-a-tetes, and odd moments of tenderness — none of which add up to anything taken on their own, but set the stage for Amy’s upcoming “duh” moment, which happens when Poe, after saving her life, drops her off at the cabin. “Big gesture” alert: Amy looks out the window and what should she see? Poe pacing in front of her cabin, undecided between coming back and saying — something, but what? — to her, and leaving, letting things stay as they are.
Unbeknownst to Poe, his indecision is moot. Amy instantly grasps what he would be saying were he to come back, and knowing that is enough to change things. Poe likes her.
And really, knowing is half the battle. Because Amy? Not so much with the pretending. She can’t go back to her former antagonist relationship with him. Not given what she knows. So she needs to confront Poe either way: tell him no way is that shit going down, or okay, you’re cute, let’s make out in the sand. (Which they do — “big gesture again”.)
The interesting thing about how their relationship played out, though, to me, is that the power dynamic was not what I expected. Adolescent understanding of a power dynamic is that the person who knows how the other person feels is the one with the power. (This is why you kept your crushes a secret in high school.) Amy knows Poe likes her, therefore, she should be the one in control. And she is for about one chapter. It’s in her hands if things go any farther — if they have a date, if they kiss. After that, the power shifts rather dramatically, and I wasn’t expecting it, though I felt that, in the end, it made for a much more mature romantic storyline. Poe wasn’t going to be embarrassed to be “discovered,” as Malcolm was sure he would. He was going to own it.
I remember seeing an interview with Kristen Stewart, where she was talking about her vision of Bella in the Twilight movie, and how she had the power in that relationship because there was no question of what she wanted; Edward might be torn, but she knew. She wanted to be a vampire and to be with Edward. Well, Poe wanted to be with Amy, and once he thought there was a chance of that happening (which he didn’t back at the cabin, but with the date and the making out, well, he went for it), he had all the power. The power of conviction and of clarity. Yes, he could still be rejected, he could still be hurt by her, but there is a core of strength to honesty that can’t be touched by those things, and it’s a core that Poe hadn’t often had a chance to display in the series. He’s sneaky and manipulative, but not, apparently, when it comes to love. And it trumps any card that Amy attempts to play. I really, really liked that. He could be a deeply flawed person and he could even be wrong about their relationship, but he was absolutely forthright about his own feelings, and that’s incredibly powerful, especially compared to Amy’s wishy-washiness. Honestly? She didn’t stand a chance. He had to be rewarded for such a big step for his character, though also in keeping with his character, who despite his manipulative nature, is very blunt honest and dedicated. And those were all small gestures, but together, they were a tidal wave.
But because of that, in the end, Poe didn’t have to do a lot of “winning” of Amy, and it was Amy who had to go to Poe’s house for the big romantic gesture and reconciliation. And, if I’ve accomplished my goal, you believe her (and Poe believes her, which is a more difficult prospect) because of all her small turning points coming up to that — how she looks for Poe, and thinks of Poe, and is deeply, deeply, fundamentally hurt when she thinks Poe doesn’t trust her — which hurts even more because of how nakedly honest he’s been to her– so hurt she makes herself vulnerable to Darren. That what is going on here is something more than gratitude, and might need to be explored.
Which brings us up to Tap & Gown, where the story is far from over.
I feel that I’ve perhaps wandered far from the original purpose of this post, but what can I say? I’m a hopeless romantic. I love it all, the character perfection and the gut punch moments and the big romantic gesture and the tiny, infinitesimal moments that add up to a love story.
First of all, today is the day that the newest Secret Society Girl Secret Story goes live. Check out last month’s “unlocked” story, “Poe in D.C.” on the secret story page, and, newsletter subscribers, check your inbox for the password for this month’s secret story!
In other news, reviews of RAMPANT have started popping up on the internet. First up is a preview from ‘brina of YA New York:
“Rampant is fantastic. Seriously awesome. A little bit of fantasy, a little bit of chick lit, and a bunch of unicorns.
That’s right. Unicorns.”
She goes on to add:
“(PS. This book almost makes me understand the unicorns versus zombies arguments between a bunch of YA authors. Almost, but not quite. After reading Rampant, I’m totally siding with unicorns.)”
“Rampant is quite a departure from Diana Peterfreund’s other books, and I love it. She’s a great writer, and, just as with her other books, I had a difficult time putting this one down! Astrid is a seriously awesome heroine, and the other characters are well-drawn and complex as well.”
And lots of other cool stuff. She also bring up a topic very near and dear to my heart:
“This book also addressed what I was worried about: I am a huge animal lover, and even if they’re killing people, I have difficulty with the idea that we should wipe out a whole species. Luckily, some of the characters felt the same way, and it was discussed (though not resolved). There was also the moral conflict of killing the unicorns when a unicorn of a tamer breed was living at the cloisters, and was in fact quite cuddly; it was difficult to think about killing them all when the unicorn we saw all the time was like a puppy (around the hunters, not other humans), and I’m glad that this wasn’t taken too lightly in the novel.”
Like Jocelyn, I am also a huge animal lover, and donate time and money to various wildlife and endangered species organizations. The thing that a lot of people don’t realize is that many hunters are also huge animal lovers and are very concerned with environmental protection. For instance, a lot of duck hunters are involved with wetland conservation (indeed, when you buy a “duck stamp,” which is like a ticket to go hunt a duck, you are donating to wetland conservation. It not only makes sure that these is land for the ducks you hunt to live and breed on, but it also protects a whole range of wetland life that you don’t hunt). In some places, because there are no more natural predators for particular animals (deer is a common one), hunting is the only way to keep populations in check so that they do not become sick, starving, or dangerous.
Sometimes there is a vision of hunters as these irresponsible killing machines, but most of the hunters I know (and have in my family) are nothing like that, and all the hunters who consulted me on this book have a deep and abiding love for animals and the wilderness.
One of the central conflicts in the unicorn story is the balance of “these animals are killing people” and “these animals are endangered, we should protect them” and it makes me so happy that it came across. Also, Jocelyn mentioned my personal favorite character in the book: the pet unicorn.
I really can’t wait for this book to come out! Argh, it’s killing me.
Then I read an article yesterday talking about how he’s faced a lot of skeptics, saying the video is “fake”. Here is his response:
I love this guy. What an attitude.
However, I did find this response a bit disappointing, because I learned that the video was not quite as indie and viral as I’d originally assumed. As it turns out (gleaned from Matt’s web page), there was a real, individual “dancing” video made back in 2005. This is it:
Still beautiful, still uplifting. As it turns out, this was also a viral success, though on a far smaller scale. It was such a success that Matt found himself a sponsor in Stride gum company, and talked them into funding another trip around the world where he’d have the opportunity to dance with people who had written him about his first video. Stride no doubt assisted him with access to the more difficult locations (like the weightless jet, the Papua New Guinea tribesmen, the dancing next to the guard in the DMZ, etc.) And thus you got the Hi-def “Where the Hell is Matt” that we all enjoyed last year.
I think it’s an amazing story, and in the end, I don’t care that it wasn’t as “indie” as I’d assumed. It was still gorgeous. Good on Matt for being so creative, and managing to make a living out his silliness. Good on Stride for giving this guy a little money (and it was probably a very little, in the scheme of things) to create such an uplifting piece of art. Good on the people of the world for participating.
I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about what I do for a living as art, though perhaps I should, I know that when I’m writing, I want people to be uplifted and transformed. I want their hearts to pound in the romantic scenes, I want them to grow breathless in the action sequences. I want them to laugh and to cry, to be swept away in the story, even if it’s only for three or four hundred pages. And that’s what good art can do. When I watch Matt, I feel something big stir inside me. I want to create that in the reader.
I’ve got three big bits of news. Two involve killer unicorns and one involves a small green state in the far north of our world.
And that’s really all I can say for now. Yes, I know, I’m an unbearable tease. Do not worry, all shall be revealed in time.
In another, far more prosaic sphere of my existence, I’ve got a plumber and a heating guy coming to the house today. Because everything breaks at once. Oh, and I have to make a vet appointment for Rio. Because my baby girl, she is getting so big, and she has to get her lady parts all removed. Wah. I know that we will all be happier after it’s done, but I’m not looking forward to the whole “keep her still for a week” “here’s her giant Elizabethan collar” “oh, she might not be able to control herself for a few days” part of the process. (This is probably all more than you want to know.) My friend’s dog got a badass tattoo when she had hers done, but the vet says they only do that in pounds so that, if the dog ever ends up in a shelter again, the vets know they’ve been fixed. So Rio doesn’t even get a tattoo out of the experience. Pobrecita.
Back to writing: Friday is the day I’ll be putting up the next secret story, so you’d better sign up for my newsletter (see sign up form in right hand column, and the hints post if you’re having trouble). I’ve been getting a lot of questions about these legendary secret stories, and I realize that some of you may have missed the announcement during the December giveaways, so here it is again, all official-like:
Every month from now until the release of Tap & Gown, I’m giving away a free story, set “between the lines” of the secret society girl books, to subscribers to my newsletter.
Doesn’t that sound fun? The first story, “Poe in D.C.,” is already available. It’s set after the end of Secret Society Girl and is told from Poe’s perspective as he works at his summer job. The next story is also from Poe’s perspective (I do know which side of the bread my butter is on) but there are going to be all sorts of new voices in the months to come.
Okay, the heating guys are here, and they say I have to call the gas company. Sigh. Home ownership is so much fun.
Oh dear. I love children’s books, and I love Blaze, and I don’t think…. oh, dear.
Poor Borders. (I’m right that this is a Borders sign, right?) I know things are tight and tough and all, but you can just pick up a marker and cross off the “Children’s Books” part, right?
Thanks to Justine’s “writing advice month” posts, I’ve been getting a bunch of requests for advice on how to write a synopsis for a novel. Most writers I know hate writing synopsis, loathe it with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. I have a friend who calls them sucknopses — a term that drives me up a wall. I feel very much in the minority, because I love writing synopses. LOVE IT. In fact, it’s one of my favorite things to do in the entire process or writing a novel.
My love for writing synopses started early on in my career, and it changed my ability to write on a fundamental level. Now, armed with a synopsis, I can sally forth into the wilds of my story without fear of getting lost. I’ve got a road map.
I was taught to write synopses by Kathy Carmichael. Her synopsis writing workshops and handouts cannot be beat. Doesn’t matter if your synopsis is for romance or not (she has some especially for non-romance fiction. This is the place everyone should go — anything I would say about the nuts and bolts would be derived from her workshops. I cannot recommend them enough. I have not looked at them in years, however, because at this point, I kind of know what I’m doing, It’s like no longer referring to maps once you’ve driven the same route a few times.
So now that you know where I get my basic template for my synopsis, let’s move on to the special things I do.
Thing #1: I write my synopsis before I write my book.
I really think writing your synopsis before you write your books makes it SO much easier. You still have a firm hold on what your central story question is, and you aren’t distracted by all your pretty little details and funny lines and unique set details.
A portion of you have already run off in terror, because you belong to the group of writers who think that pre-planning takes all the fun out of it. I can’t tell you how many arguments conversations I’ve had about this with writer friends who think planning books out in advance is sheer madness. My brain does not work that way. Unless i have a plan it’s like getting in a car with no idea where I’m going. I prefer to have a destination in mind and a road map of how to get there.
Please note: this does not mean that I know every single thing that is going to happen in every scene on every page of my novel. (A lot of people who are on the “OMGNOOO, you PLAN?” bandwagon assume that it’s all or nothing in that manner.) Nor does it mean that things don’t change. To completely beat this “roadmap” metaphor into paste — sometimes you’re on the way to a certain place, and you have to take a detour. Or maybe you say to yourself — hey, let’s take this other road instead.” Or even decide to go to a different but related place. All cool.
But the interesting thing is that it probably won’t change the synopsis, much like if you decide to take a detour on your way to your favorite restaurant it’s unlikely worth mentioning to the people you’re meeting for dinner.
I judge a lot of unpublished writing contests, and the number one problem I see in a bad synopsis is that the author doesn’t know what details they should put in, and which ones to leave out. Writing the synopsis before you write the book helps avoid a lot of these problems because you don’t have any of the details yet.
For instance, say you are George Lucas, and you are writing a synopsis of Star Wars. It probably doesn’t behoove you to bother mentioning that Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru and Luke drink blue milk out of plastic glasses in the opening scenes. A person looking to buy your book doesn’t need to know that. You should spend your time mentioning that those new droids Uncle Owen and Luke just bought are actually refugees from a captured intergalactic ship who are carrying top secret information vital to the rebellion for some old hermit named Ben who lives in the mountains.
Which brings me to
Thing #2: A synopsis is a sales tool.
This is another tip from Kathy Carmichael. A synopsis is not your outline of the story, if you’re an outliner (though it can serve as one in a pinch). A synopsis is, in actuality, your opportunity to skip over flaws in your story. Again, let’s say you’re George Lucas, and you are, perhaps worried that your scoundrel smuggler character might be a little TOO over the top in that one bar scene where he shoots Greedo in cold blood. I mean, it makes sense in context and all, nails the character PERFECTLY, and it’s a totally awesome scene that should never ever have been changed (damn you, George, damn you) but you’re afraid that if you type: “while Han’s first mate, the giant fuzzy Chewbacca, negotiates with Obi-Wan and Luke, Han Solo meets with this ugly green dude who is looking for money Han owes to some other guy and Han shoots him” someone is going to go: “Man, this is not going to play well in Peoria…” You know what you do? You don’t mention it. Because
Thing #3: A synopsis is your chance to tell.
“Show, don’t tell?” Doesn’t apply in synopses. You don’t need to talk about Han shooting Greedo because you have already introduced the character Han as being a “scoundrel smuggler-type with few scruples — or so you think!”
In fact, that’s how you should start your synopsis (Kathy goes into far greater detail on this). “Character A is a such-and-such sort of person who wants such-and-such because of this reason. Unfortunately, he/she is thwarted in this desire by XYZ.”
(If you are writing a fantasy, even this might be pre-empted by some sort of statement about the world rules. For instance, the first paragraph about my Rampant synopsis explains how unicorns are not, in fact, the fluffy innocent sparkly magical pure being of myth and legends, but instead giant, man-eating venomous beasts that have fortunately been extinct for a century or so, only oops, not so much. Then I go into all sorts of stuff about Astrid.)
The other thing that helps you to figure out what detail you need to put in and which to leave out is to really be strict with yourself in terms of space. I cut my teeth writing synopses for inclusion in Harlequin submissions. At the time (might still be, I don’t know) Harlequin said that synopses had to be 2 pages long. That’s two pages for a 50-70k book (depending on what line you were targetting. So you learned to really concentrate on the characters and what made them tick. Usually, in such synospes, you were going to spend the first page on hero (space scoundrel/smuggler), heroine (intergalactic princess and rebel spy), and premise (it’s hatred at first sight when he rescues her from the evil intergalactic vizier/high priest’s evil planet-killing fortress), and the second page on what all happens to them after that.
Much more standard synopsis length is 1 (double spaced) page for every 10,000 words of manuscript. When you are just starting out, look at each 10k words and FORCE yourself to keep your synopsis to that length. You’ll be surprised how it makes you focus on what hte big plot points and turning points of your story are.
So I woke up the other morning to no fewer than fifty pieces of fan mail.
“This is it!” I thought to myself. “I’ve finally made the big time!”
And then I started to read said fanmail, which all, curiously, had the exact same timestamp. (I know, I know, but I’m a bit slow on the uptake.) And some of it was a little odd, like people talking about having met me at signings I did this summer, or having won a contest I held back in September.
I am not proud of how long it took me to check out the time stamps of the emails. they had in fact, been sent in the summer or September or whenever. Oops.
So what had happened? In October, I contact announced that the form on my website had been broken for I don’t know how long (probably since the launch of my new website), and the emails being sent from that form were not reaching me (it’s been fixed since then). Well, the problem was that there was an error in the code that was misspelling the email address. Well, the email server (host? thingamabob?) has, in its infinite wisdom, decided to set up one of my active addresses as a “catch-all” — and that happens to be the address that my form sends to. (I’ve also fixed that, btw, as soon as I realized what was going on, because who needs that spamtastic headache?) But the happy side effect was that all those misaddressed forms came home to roost.
So, not famous. But still happy, because fan mail six months late is still fan mail!
Embarrassing Story #2
I’m renewing my passport for the purposes of an upcoming trip [details redacted at present, but totally swoonworthy and envy-making]. Anyway, for the last ten years, I’ve been a bit vain about my passport photo. Everyone always complains about their passport photos being just this side of troglodytic, but I thought mine was pretty flattering.
Well, after ten years of being a smug bitch about my photo, I went in to get new ones done for my new passport and, wouldn’t you know it, I now have a new passport photo in which I look rather humorously like a smug bitch. I’m making this face at the camera — I can’t even describe it. It’s the face the mean cheerleader in the 80s teen film makes at the shy, bookish heroine right before making out with the adorable hero she’s dating that the heroine is secretly in love with and perfect for. It’s the face the shopgirl makes and Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman right before kicking her out of the store.
“Um, can you take it again?” I asked the passport photo lady when I saw it on the screen.
The passport photo lady gave me a look I’m sure she’d not appreciate having plastered across her own passport.
So, smug bitch it is. Yeah? Wanna make something of it?
Sigh. Customs is going to be fun. Because there’s nothing a customs officer likes more than a smug bitch smiling smugly up at you, right?
In the comments section of last week’s “industry research” post, one reader wondered why I did not address the ever-burning question of why one book is chosen for publication over another. That, in her opinion, is the true mystery, and one that no one ever bothers to answer.
I disagree with that. I’ve seen many an agentblogtacklethetopicoftaste.* (Agent blogs, in particular, are bombarded with demands to justify their rejections.)
Wondering why agents/editors/readers like one book and not another is like wondering why some people hate Indian food and other people love sushi. It’s a matter of taste. There’s no explanation available.
Even readers get in on the action. Check out this massive thread on Publisher’s Weekly about books you hate that everyone else loves. I can guarantee that someone on here mentions one of your favorite books. Examples of books that other people admit to hating on this thread: Pride & Prejudice, the Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter, A Separate Peace, and — ack! — Goodnight Moon. Good. Night. Moon!
There really is no accounting for taste.
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* And that’s based on the most cursory of searches. I could probably find dozens more.
Unsurprisingly, more than half of the respondents to yesterday’s poll were like “Whatever, Carol. Tell me more about Poe.” I am curious if the response would have been similar had the poll been “What about Amy?”
Anyway, I’ve got a big fat working month ahead of me that has unfortunately started a week and a half late. But I shall not despair! And I shall begin each day with these forty, inspirational speeches (in two minutes):
So I’ve been working on copyedits of Tap & Gown, and feeling all nostalgic about the series coming to an end. Sniff, sniff. The big challenge for this book was making sure I finished up all the loose threads of secondary character stories. Where were they going, what were they doing, etc. And as I was looking over my character lists, I came across someone who perhaps hasn’t gotten her fair share of the limelight:
Carol.
Wait, cry readers of the secret society girl series. Who is Carol? I don’t remember a Carol!
When you’re looking at a series like mine, with a cast of thousands, you have to make sure you keep your character count under control. Not only do I have Amy, her love interests, her fellow society members, her barbarian friends, and her enemies (occasionally these groups overlap: but you also have all the little parts: her professors, her deans, her librarians, the guy who hands her her coffee on page 76.
And then there’s Carol, who Rebeccas her way through the series, always being mentioned, always being ready to provide an example, but never actually showing up. See, before Amy was tapped into Rose & Grave, she had a full life. She had a ton of friends and a busy social calendar. But since i was about to introduce a dozen society members, I couldn’t really show that. Instead, I winnowed down Amy’s list of barbarian friends to two: Lydia, her roommate and best friend; and Brandon, her would-be boyfriend. Carol, whom both Lydia and Amy bring up in conversation from time to time, is a stand in for all of those other people Amy is friends with who don’t interact with her society life enough to make it into the scope of the novels.
But what happens to Carol? She’s an actress. Does she go off for an MFA in drama? Does she go to New York and start getting walk on parts in soap operas, L&O, and pharmaceutical commercials? What about Carol?
