I’ve have a new hypothesis, and as far as I know, it has absolutely no basis in scientific thought, but anecdotal evidence seems to support it. Ready?
Caffeine makes me fall asleep.
Seriously. With all I’ve been doing lately, I’ve been looking for a bit of an extra kick in the evenings. Last evening, I stopped by at Starbucks, and then later had a soda, and I was in bed by 12:30 anyway, barely able to keep my eyes open. Today, I had no caffeine, and I’m still going strong. Weird, huh?
I’d say it was impossible, but I’ve read the back of Nyquil packets where it says stuff like “may cause drowsiness or sleeplessness” so I’m thinking that perhaps we don’t know what certain drugs will do to our systems. Maybe my body chemistry is just the type that caffeine makes sleepy.
NyQuil, on the other hand, just makes me hallucinate. Seriously. I never touch the stuff, after one particularly bad experience during flu season in college where I saw spiders crawling down the walls. I’ve since met two other people who also have the “spider” side effect with NyQuil, so I know I’m not nuts. Not completely, anyway.
The other person living in this apartment also has a strong reaction to caffeine. If he gets near it, he’s awake for days. Our genes might mix in an interesting manner, methinks.
So there was a suggestion put forth in yesterday’s post that I read people’s queries here on the blog. As Carrie can attest, I’m a nosy little snot when it comes to query-tweaking, so on one hand, it seems like a good idea. On the other, I don’t know if it would be a very popular proposition for folks, for the following reasons:
1) For it to work on any kind of ‘workshop’ level, folks would have to post their queries on the internet. And though I know a lot of people are perfectly comfortable doing that (like Erica, who did very well with her Miss Snark Crapometer entry), it’s not a practice I recommend, so I feel weird about encouraging it here.**
2) I’m not an agent or editor. If you send your query to Jessica Faust or Nephele Tempest or similar, you have the possibility of gaining the attention of these fabulous agents. And though an agent or editor is always welcome to contact you (or me) if they see something they like here, it’s not as clear cut as it would be at an actual agent’s blog. I have no idea if any agents read my blog. (Actually, I know at least one does, because she told my editor at lunch that she did. Hi, Agent!) But seriously, if you could get your query critiqued by Jessica Faust or me, go for Jessica. That’s a no-brainer.
3) It’s way, way harder to fix a query when you haven’t read the story. I’m not going to be reading stories. I noticed this a lot during the Miss Snark Crapometers and similar experiments. Miss Snark et al. are usually very good at pointing out the queries that are focusing on the wrong details, but with the generic ones, they can’t do much except make up wild conjectures about the actual plot of the book. Which may point out to the writer what they are doing wrong, I guess, but having seen more than one writer’s reaction to such a response, my guess is that it mostly pisses them off. Which leads me to…
4) Man, I don’t want to piss anyone off.
So I’m still mulling this over. Maybe it should be a contest kind of thing: enter if you want your query critiqued, and I’ll pick a couple of people. Maybe then at least I’d know if there are more than one or two people actually interested?
If a query crit is something that might interest you, please leave a comment here (anonymous is fine). It definitely wouldn’t be for another few weeks though, what with the wedding and all.
Speaking of, look what my friends did to me at the bachelorette party:
Their cheesiness knows no bounds. Lovely gals. I’m so lucky to have them!
_____________________
* It occurs to me that, in the light of the jargon from my books, this title sounds a lot sketchier than it is.
** I do not mean to inspire paranoia. Certainly I don’t ascribe to the idea that industry folks are out to “steal your stories.” But the internet is the internet, and there are certain things that don’t need to be Googleable until they are under contract, IMO. We have no idea who is reading this blog. Seriously, someone got here the other day by Googling “What is Snuffleuppagus’s first name?” Just keep that in mind.
October 26th, 2007 at 4:32 am
What is Snuffalupagus’s first name? Egbert? Mortimer? Biff? Chad?
Caffeine affects me weirdly. If I have too much in the morning, I can’t sleep at night. But more than once I’ve tried the late-night Starbucks thing (over the summer even brewed and drank an entire pot of strong Costa Rican coffee in an attempt to stay awake) and promptly fell asleep. So who knows.
Bachelorette party sounds awesome! Love the pic!
October 26th, 2007 at 4:51 am
Coffee does keep me up. That started about three years ago. I used to drink coffee at any time of the night and promptly went to sleep when I was ready too. Not so much anymore. Strange how things change.
I’d love to be one of the ones you’d choose.
October 26th, 2007 at 7:05 am
Caffeine makes my “small gals” lumpy and ouchy, so it keeps me awake by default.
And you look so pretty in your pic!
(I saw a car window shoe polished last week that said “Boobs McGee”. Funny, huh?)
October 26th, 2007 at 8:11 am
Is that the hair you are describing as short now? If so, we have a very different opinion of ’short’.
I believe his name is Bob.
The only people who get pissed are the ones who are expecting the response to be ‘This is BRILLIANT, you are on your way to being a best seller!’ and have a hard time seperating feedback as one person’s opinion and it is feedback on the query, not a personal attack.
October 26th, 2007 at 8:40 am
If you have the time to do some queries I’d love to be one. I just finished writing a new draft of mine last night and I think I’m closer to getting it right than I have ever been before. I finally made a break through, I think, when I forced myself to write a query under 350 words total. Dang is it hard to pick 1-2 paragraphs to perfectly describe your entire book.
Anyway, I like the query you helped Carrie Ryan write so I’d love to participate.
October 26th, 2007 at 9:09 am
Great picture, Diana! Sounds like you really had fun. But I’m with Patrick — I was expecting something more radically short — unless the photo was before the scissors?
You are awesome at queries — you really helped me once before.
However, I share your reluctance re posting queries on the Internet — that’s not something I’d want to do, and it’s particularly risky if a book is high concept.
October 26th, 2007 at 9:16 am
Ack! I truly was kidding, Diana! The sheer volume of submissions Jessica Faust and Nathan Bransford have received is downright terrifying, I think.
Hope you had a wonderful bachelorette party!!
October 26th, 2007 at 10:38 am
My hair is about half as long now.
Precie, I don’t think I’d get a fraction of the queries an agent would.
October 26th, 2007 at 10:39 am
Cute Pix! And caffeine just makes me normal. Without it, I’m asleep.
Teri
October 26th, 2007 at 11:32 am
An Epithalamion, upon the Most Pleasaunt and Auspicious Occasion of the Nuptials of the Lady Diana Peterfreund and the Most Gallant Sailor Boy, Esquire-soon-to-be
Nymphs and shepherds, tune your strings,
Whilst the woodland chorus sings
Fulsome melodies of joy
For Lady Di and Sailor Boy.
Let us now our voices raise
In harmonious festive lays,
Echoing Diana’s praise,
And wishing her throughout her days
Happiness and health and fame:
May muses’ laurels crown her name,
And may her pen enjoy Godspeed,
Finding le mot juste at need.
May she and Sailor Boy enjoy
Pleasure that can never cloy,
Peace, and love, and all good things
As they both exchange their rings,
Yea, and henceforth evermore.
See: the kangaroos adore
The dauntless pair they could not faze
Back in their Australian days.
Lo! The fields and woods grow still,
Hushed the stream and calm the rill,
For the moment is at hand:
Now draws near the nuptial band;
See the bride, in dazzling white,
Hair cut short, her face alight
As she greets her handsome swain:
Soon they’re one, no longer twain.
Mr. Di and Mrs. Boy,
May you both know all the joy
Conjoin’d identities can bring
In life, in love, in everything.
Nymphs and shepherds, wend your way
Honoring Diana’s day;
Let tears of happiness be shed,
For she and Sailor Boy are wed.
October 26th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
Wonderful picture Diana! I still haven’t figured out how caffeine affects me — I just try to stay away from it at night because I think I talk myself into thinking it’s keeping me awake. Odd, eh?
October 26th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
Caffeine doesn’t keep me awake at all, and when in a hot form like coffee sends me sleep because it’s so nice and comforting. Sometimes I really want to stay awake and try to trick myself into believing caffeine will work but, alas, it hasn’t worked yet.
October 26th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
So true about caffeine and cold medicines and such. I gave my son Benadryl (once) and he turned into a crazy person. He was LITERALLY bouncing off the walls.
Love the pic. I wish you and Sailor Boy a lifetime of love and laughter. Sorry, that’s all I’ve got, a poet I am not.
October 26th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
That’s silly. Everyone knows Snuffleuppagus’s first name is “Mister.”
October 26th, 2007 at 3:58 pm
So you’d get 200 submissions instead of 600. LOL! You’re published, articulate, insightful, media-savvy.
Maybe just write a consolidated post of your main query tips.
October 26th, 2007 at 8:59 pm
I’d love some query tweaking myself.
October 28th, 2007 at 6:38 am
Hmmm..maybe you have ADD? Ritalin was discovered as a treatment when parents began to notice that giving children with ADD coffee tended to settle them down.
Just one of those useless nuggets of trivia I picked up somewhere along the way. But yes, caffiene helps me settle down enough to focus, and antihistamines like benadryl have me clinging to the ceiling.
Good luck with the wedding.
October 28th, 2007 at 7:40 pm
Caffeine keeps me up, up, up! I only drink coffee on weekend mornings when I’m walking the dog with my husband, as I actually can’t think very clearly (ie. write) when I drink coffee. Tea doesn’t have quite the same affect, I think because I’ve been drinking it since I was a teenager, and I only started drinking coffee in my late thirties, when I discovered lattes.
I can’t even drink a Coke after 3 p.m. or I can’t sleep.
Have a fantastic wedding, Diana.
October 28th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
Darn, that last comment was from me. Don’t know why it came in as anonymous.
October 29th, 2007 at 7:21 am
I’m a caffeine addict, and I think I’m immune to Nyquil, so no comments on the spider syndrome, except that I think I’d skip it, too, if that was happening to me!
I think Snuffleupagus’s first name is Mister. Although I like Erica’s suggestions
I’d volunteer for a public query ripping. I’m usually pretty tight about sharing my stuff on the internet, too, but I was laying in bed last night thinking that my query pretty much sucks, and I could really use some help on it.
October 29th, 2007 at 8:56 am
According to Wikipedia and other web sites, the full name is “Aloysius Snuffleupagus” – sorry, Erica, nice try!
October 29th, 2007 at 11:13 pm
My doctor once told me caffeine sometimes has the opposite effect on people. I know because i asked him after complaining that i couldnt rely on it to keep me awake. Caffeine just makes me bite my nails, basically.