Question: “What should I major in to become a writer?”
Answer: Major in anything you want. I did Geology, and then, because I wound up taking classes that worked for the Literature major (which fell into every category from Film to American Studies) I wrote another paper and took a second major in that. I think it’s better, actually, if you don’t major in English, Literature, or Writing. It means that you know stuff that every other yahoo trying to write a book out there doesn’t know. If you major in Epidemiology or Computer Science or 17th Century Danish History, while the rest of us are breaking our backs doing research for our books, you’re sitting pretty, because you already know all this stuff. Ask Tess Gerritsen or John Grisham or Michael Crichton.
Plus, it’s way easier to get a job to support you while you write with an Epidemiology or Computer Science degree. Danish History I don’t know about.
Question: “How hard a job is writing?”
Answer: 6.7. Kidding. It’s the best job ever, since I can work whenever and wherever I want, and I get paid for making things up. At the same time, it’s the hardest because the onus is entirely on me to create a demand. People don’t actually need what I do. I’m not a butcher or a baker or an overpriced espresso maker. So I have to write something that people actually want to spend their discretionary income on.
Question: “How do you respond to the blank stares from people when you say you’re a writer?”
Answer: I feel very lucky that I don’t get blank stares. I do however, get an automatic assumption that “I’m a writer” equals “unemployed.” The conversation goes like this:
Cocktail Party Guest: “I’m a lawyer. So, what do you do?”
Me: “I’m a novelist.”
CPG: “Oh. Um, er, anything… published?”
Me: “Yes. My third book comes out from Random House this month.” (Inwardly, I wonder why no one ever responds to “I’m a lawyer,” with “Oh, Um, er… an employed one?” Yet the assumption is that I’m an out of work novelist. Believe me, if I were, I would say something like, “I’m a barista at Starbucks” or etc.)
I’ve taken to telling folks at cocktail parties that I’m a smoke jumper. More believable. Of course, then you do get blank stares.
June 18th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Actually, Diana, way back in the dark ages, I used to get the “employed” question when I told folks my mom was a lawyer.
Me: She’s a lawyer.
Someone’s Mom: Oh. Does she practice?
Me: Yes.
Her: Does she have an office?
Me: (confused) Uh, yeah.
Her: Wow!
Cara
June 18th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Cara, that’s so curious. Of course, it’s probably just that other mother’s assumption that moms should be housewives. So the assumption now (especially in a room full of lawyers half of whom probably would rather be novelists) is that novelists are unemployed.
Then again, I did meet a housewife, younger than me, at one of these parties, and then I was the one giving a blank stare, because I’d never met anyone my age who was both childless and unemployed by choice. I’d especially never met a twenty something in this town who could afford it!
June 18th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
If someone told me they were a writer at a party, I would probably ask all sorts of questions about books and writing. I don’t get the whole blank stare thing.
June 18th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Diana, I think I actually see similarities between the author questions and the my-mom-is-a-lawyer questions I used to get.
My theory:
AUTHORS
Lots of folks say “I’m a writer” and then when questioned it turns out they haven’t sold anything yet, and perhaps have not finished anything yet. Or perhaps they’re published, but with a small or e-publisher… And the way I see it, lots of folks think “oh, I’ll write a book someday,” and then they don’t want to give you credit for being any more a writer than they are…so the questions are to find out just how “legitimate” you are in their eyes, how much credit they have to give you.
The first version of this happened to me way before I was published: a friend introduced me as a writer at a party (not what I would have wanted) and then I got what I later termed The Questions:
1) Oh. Do you have anything published?
— Um, no.
2) Oh. Have you sold anything?
— Um, no.
3) Have you finished a novel?
— Yes.
At which point the speaker gave me a small amount of credit (presumably they’d never finished a novel), but not much.
More recently, I’ve often gotten a different version (being published):
1) Are you published?
– Yes.
2) Are your books sold in, you know, bookstores? Like, would it be in my local bookstore?
– Yes. Well, B Dalton and Borders should all have my book, and with Barnes & Noble it seems to vary.
3) Wow. [Impressed.] What’s the publisher?
– Um [thinks through four possible responses due to ridiculous publisher musical-chairs-name games.] Signet, which is basically part of Penguin.
Penguin? Wow. [They’ve actually *heard* of Penguin. Now they take me somewhat seriously.)
MOM LAWYER version.
I presume this was due to lots of moms then who had had a career, or had been trained for a career, but had taken time off (or quit entirely) to raise kids. And so they didn’t want to give my mom the status of actually being a lawyer if she wasn’t currently practicing.
Anyway, in both cases, I can kind of understand the questions (as is normal in social interaction, one tries to learn things about folks so one can assign them status and understand where they’re coming from), but have always found them startling and often rude.
Cara (who apologizes for the super-long nature of this comment)
June 18th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
Cara, I think that’s exactly it. Because of the “giving up the career” thing, and then you don’t know if you should say “I’m a homemaker” or cling to whatever career you used to have.
The thing is, I was a writer, professionally, for many years, so I would always say, “I’m a writer,” and then if they asked, I would say what newspapers or other publications I’d written for. Now I usually say, “I’m a novelist,” because it’s been years since I wrote for a newspaper.
(But a lot of people seem very confused as to what a novel is. They don’t know they’re fiction, for example.)
The only time I wasn’t sure what to say was when I’d sold my book, but I was still working as a copyeditor. I did both. What did I respond. The one I made more money at? The one I spent more time at? Both? It’s easier when I have one career, I’ll tel you that much.
(And yes, this is a topic that mainly comes up living in DC. Everyone here always wants to know what you do. )
June 18th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
Sigh. Have had that experience SO MANY TIMES. I now say I’m a dental assistant, which tends to end the conversation.
Why is no one interested in the experiences of a dental assistant?
Justine
June 19th, 2008 at 6:04 am
Justine – A dental assistant is as interesting as pulling teeth…
June 19th, 2008 at 9:52 am
Maybe this is a distinction without much of a difference, but once I was published by a mainstream house I started saying “I’m an author” instead of “I’m a writer.”
And when people ask where they can get my books, I tell them they can always go to Borders – but if they’d like a signed and personalized copy, they can accompany me to the trunk of my car. Where, it turns out, I just happen to have a box or two of books fresh from the publisher and ready for inking. It’s a great way to make friends, not to mention enhancing the revenue stream over and above the somewhat skimpy royalties.
Does anyone else say “I’m an author”?
June 19th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Cara, I’m a lawyer and I actually get the “do you practice?” question on occassion. I really doubt that dads who are lawyers get asked that, lol. My 13-year-old daughter wants to be a lawyer — hopefully women of her generation won’t be asked if they actually “practice” their profession.